


Lust or Love?

by Destiny1195



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:50:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4595301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiny1195/pseuds/Destiny1195
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hope despises Snow for letting his mother fall, yet he has begun to think of the blond man in a different fashion; is it simple attraction or something more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Being a fan of the Final Fantasy games, it’s inevitable that eventually there would be a pairing that would take my fancy. In this case, it’s Snow Villiers/Hope Estheim from Final Fantasy XIII. I started reading the work written about the two, and thought I’d give it a shot myself.  
> Set in the early parts of the game, towards the end of chapter 4 (after the battle with Odin).
> 
> I have uploaded this story to fanfiction.net, but I got very little response; thought I'd give this place a go.  
> Anyway, on we go, hope you all enjoy this :)

Hope collapsed against the rock face, and curled in on himself. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically. They’d barely stopped since turning L’Cie; add the trauma of watching his mother fall to her death, and fighting endless groups of people and monsters afterwards, Hope was ready to give in; rest for a while, at the very least.

He heard Lightning, or Light as her friends called her, say she was going to look around. Hope barely acknowledged her, choosing instead to drift away with his thoughts.

He thought about his mother, his wonderful, caring mother, whose death was completely senseless. He thought about the situation he was now in, trailing after a stoic woman bent on wreaking havoc for what was done to her and her sister. He thought about the other people he now found himself with: Sazh wasn’t too bad, not really, and Vanille was a constant comfort, though her unwavering optimism and ‘ray of light’ attitude could get tiresome very quickly.

His thoughts had become a refuge of sorts for him, a link to his past, and a means of dredging up one more ounce of strength to continue on this pointless journey. He said he wanted to become stronger, to become tougher, but could he follow through with the end game? That was the question he asked himself over and over again. Could he exact vengeance on the one most deserving of punishment?

This, inevitably, brought him to the one person that occupied more of his thoughts than any other individual or topic. The individual he hated with all his being, yet also the individual that gave him the strength to carry on.

_Snow Villiers_

The wan-a-be hero, the man who could laugh every situation off as if it were a joke, the resistance leader; the man who had let his mother fight, when she had no business doing so, and then let her fall to her death. Only to follow her a moment later, and have the audacity to survive the fall. And now, he didn’t even have the courage to acknowledge the act, to even recognize the fact that he held a woman’s hand moments before her death.

This disregard, and abject ignorance left Hope a seething mass of rage and despair; directed as much at himself as at the blond man in question. He was angry with the man, and himself, and he regretted his weakness.

_“If only I’d been stronger, if only I’d had the courage to take the gun instead of her; then she’d still be alive”_ Hope thought to himself. This was only one of his regrets, though it tore him up every second of every day.

Even now, he hadn’t worked up the courage to tell Snow what he thought of him, and now the opportunity may never come again. They’d left Snow, still trying to dig the crystallized form of his bride from the surrounding crystal mass. A truly pathetic sight.

This simple sight had angered Hope beyond belief; how the man could disregard one woman so easily, yet sit and pine over another served to fuel the fire building in Hope’s heart. Snow called himself a hero, he was nothing of the sort.

His thoughts were disturbed by the sound of footsteps, falling in the steady, purposeful fashion that could only belong to Lightning. They stopped a little way in front of him. Hope cracked an eye open slightly, to find Lightning sitting down some way across from him. He hadn’t thought the woman was capable of taking a break, let alone sitting down and not doing something. What he saw in her face, however, rocked him to the core.

She was sitting with her legs folded, her gunblade at her side. She looked....so lost. In that moment, her face gave away every emotion she was feeling; gave away her despair, and the terrible heart wrenching sadness she felt. She’d failed to save her sister, and now the very thing that had taken her sister, had taken her as well. This crack in her near impenetrable armour scared Hope, to think that one as strong as her could show such weakness. At the same time, it brought him a measure of comfort. If she could hold onto her strength when it mattered, perhaps he could to.

He changed positions slightly, stretching out onto his side, before drifting into a fitful sleep.

 

XXXXXX

 

_Hope felt warm, and comfortable. He felt a peace and a sense of security that he had never experienced before in his life. He was in a bed, naked from the feel of it, with a warmth at his back, and a strong arm around his waist._

_He sighed, in a contented fashion, and rolled over onto his back. The arm remained where it was, still across his waist. What he saw above him brought a feeling of joy and warmth to his heart. Deep blue eyes, as blue as any ocean, mid length blond hair, and a smile full of affection and humour._

_He reached up, and stroked the handsome face above him, admiring the soft skin, before bringing the head down to meet his own. A pair of soft lips gently touched his own, began to move in tandem with his. The hand began to move slowly up his body, caressing each inch of skin on its way, pausing briefly to tease a nipple, before continuing up to cup Hope’s face._

_Their lips parted, and two pairs of eyes gazed deep into each other._

_“Moring Hope” The voice was smooth, and resonated with affection._

_Hope let out a contented sigh, and shifted closer to the large, muscular body next to his comparatively slim frame._

_“Hi Snow” His voice was light, and dreamy, reflecting the romantic and near perfect feeling of the situation._

_Snow shifted his head down, and began to lightly kiss Hope’s neck, before moving onto his shoulder, all the while trailing his hand slowly back down his body again. The light kisses, and the gentle touches were drawing faint moans from Hope, moans that grew on volume when the hand wrapped around his hardening penis, gently stroking him._

_Snow ceased his oral exploration, and looked up at Hope. His head was thrown back, silver hair a glittering mane with a faint blush on his cheeks; his mouth was open, with a faint smile on his lips._

_“You look beautiful Hope, completely and utterly stunning” Said Snow, as he increased the pace of his ministrations, stroking Hope faster, bringing him closer and closer to the edge._

_Hope began to thrash from side to side, waves of pleasure blocking all coherent thought. He could feel himself losing control, as his orgasm came closer and closer._

_“Please Snow, don’t stop; I’m gonna.....fuck, I need.....”_

_His words were cut off with a cry, as his orgasm washed over him; streams of cum covering his stomach and chest, along with Snow’s hand._

_Hope’s body sank into the bed, utterly spent. He felt Snows settle back at his side, the strong arm returning to its original position, mindless of the cum. Hope turned his head to the side, face a picture of pure bliss and happiness, and looked at the handsome man next to him._

_Snow kissed him softly, before looking into his eyes yet again. A gentle smile adorned the blonds face._

_“I love you Hope, so much”_

_“Love you too Snow”_

XXXXXX

 

Hope awoke slowly; his back stiff from sleeping against a rock, a slight pain beginning to develop in his neck. He looked around him, found Lightning still in the same place as before, though asleep this time.

He shifted slightly, mindful of the wet, sticky feeling in his trousers; evidently, the dream had a physical effect on him. What a time to have a mishap of that nature. He stretched his head from side to side, and sighed in resignation.

These dreams had been coming to him regularly these days; every time he fell asleep for even the shortest space of time. To begin with, Hope had ignored them, thought nothing of it. He’d noticed Snow’s physical appeal the first time he laid eyes on him; beautiful blue eyes, blond hair that shimmered like the sun, and a muscular physique anyone would desire. The physical attraction he could handle, but the way the dreams were currently going, that left Hope with a feeling of unease.

_“I love you Hope, so much”_

_“Love you too Snow”_

The words stuck with him, and they angered him. This man had let his mother fall to her death, and now he was having _romantic_ thoughts about him. Hope brought his knees up, and rested his arms across them, and let his mind wander to Snow Villiers.

He was arrogant, full of bluster and nothing but a facade. Hope thought about the smile that never failed to appear, his constant need to be the saviour, the hero, the way his eyes sparkled whenever he was laughing, or telling one of his bad jokes. His devotion to a not quite wife that may or may not be alive, his willingness to sacrifice himself for people he didn’t even know. How handsome he was.

He thought back to the dream, and how it had felt to be wrapped in Snow’s strong protective embrace, how it had felt to have Snow’s hands on him......He longed for it to happen again.

Hope rested his head on his arms, and sighed. He didn’t understand what he was feeling. He hated Snow, despised the man for what he did; yet he was, undeniably, attracted to him. And maybe something else as well now. Why did things have to become so complicated?

_“I love you Hope, so much”_

Those words, those simply words from a dream; yet they filled him with a sense of peace and happiness he had never felt before.

Hope groaned, and slowly got to his feat. He stretched, working out the kinks in his back, before heading off to find a secluded spot where he could dispose of his now useless underwear. However much he disliked the thought of going commando for an unknown length of time, he disliked the idea of walking around with dried cum in his trousers even more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the attention, and the 'kudos'; nice to know that people are reading and enjoying this. So, first off, I have a second chapter for you all to read :)  
> I do have another one written, but I want to work on it a bit more first :)  
> Enjoy :)

Underwear now disposed of, Hope returned to his original position against the rock face. Hardly comfortable, but given their now fugitive status, extravagant hotels and soft beds were out of the question.

Hope leant his head back against the cold, unforgiving rock, and shut his eyes. He felt exhausted; not just from the constant running and fighting, but from the dreams as well. He couldn’t sleep without being plagued by scenarios involving Snow. Whether it was a simple domestic scene, or something more intimate, Snow Villiers was always there.

All Hope really wanted was to punish the man, but he seemed unable to do even that. He veered from vengeful one moment, to a horny teenager the next. And it caused him no end of shame and annoyance.

Hope felt his face heat up, as the events of his last dream flashed through his head: waking up in Snow’s arms, Snow’s lips on his, and how damn fantastic it felt when his hand started its ministrations.

Hope groaned, and rocked his head gently back against the rock, in an attempt to quench the fast growing flame of lust. Why did things have to be so complicated? Why did this have to happen to him?

“Are you okay Hope?”

He opened his eyes, to find a pair of light blue eyes burrowing their way into him. As with everything about her, Lightning’s stare was intense. She hadn’t moved an inch, aside from opening her eyes. Her light pink hair fell mostly to one side, though a partial fringe obscured a section of her face; her gunblade was propped up against her, ready for use if the need arose.

Hope swallowed, in an attempt to clear the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. He liked her, he did, but there was something very unnerving about her. It was the blend of detachment and intensity that she displayed.

“Y-Yeah....I’m alright, just a little uncomfortable” he stammered.

She narrowed her eyes slightly at his response.

“Were you having a nightmare?” levelled tone, seemingly uninterested; standard Lightning.

Hope’s eyes widened momentarily; had he been talking in his sleep? Some would call the dream a  blissful event, others might say that it was a nightmare; he couldn’t decide what label to use however.

“I, uh don’t....Um” He could feel his cheeks getting redder by the second; his sudden inability to form coherent sentences did nothing to improve his feeling of embarrassment “Uh, no...nothing like that. I’m fine. Really.”

Lightning raised an eyebrow in response. Hope looking so completely flustered was a normal occurrence, but over such a simple inquiry?

“Forgive me for being concerned” came her sardonic reply “You were thrashing in your sleep, and moaning. Then you disappear for twenty minutes. I was worried”

Hope let out a sound part way between a shriek and a groan, before burying his head in his arms. He felt completely and utterly mortified. He just hoped, what a pun that was, that he hadn’t made any sounds that were too embarrassing.

After a moment, Hope lifted his head far enough to reveal his eyes. He found Lighting still staring at him, a slight smile on her face.

“Did I...You know....Say anything?” his voice shook with embarrassment; he couldn’t let anyone find out his secret.

“You didn’t say anything” Her smile grew slightly larger, and her tone remained friendly, though tinged with a touch of concern “You were thrashing from side to side, groaning; you stopped after you cried out.....” She trailed off; brows drawing together, as she fixed him with an especially piercing look “You cried out”

Hope wished he could just crawl under a blanket, or run into a dark room, and hide from the assessing look he was receiving. A feeling of unease grew in his stomach, and a slight feeling of dread began to permeate his senses. Did she...could she know? She was smart, incredibly so, and a trained soldier. Some might call her an expert of battlefield tactics; but could she discern the emotional side of things with the same ease? Hope was about to get the answer to that very question.

She continued, though this time a little slower, as if piecing an answer together as she spoke.

“You were dreaming....It sounded like something was going on; I thought you were scared.....But you weren’t scared, were you?” She gave him a comforting smile, and purposely avoided vocalizing her complete conclusion “You’re young Hope, these things happen”

“Please don’t tell anyone about this Light” he swallowed, before continuing “I couldn’t bare the embarrassment” his voice grew steadily quieter.

“I won’t tell anyone; trust me Hope” though she looked away, her voice remained steady, and confidence inspiring.

“Thanks Light” Said Hope, before curling in on himself.

He heard a slight grunt in response.

They remained in silence for a little while after, neither able to return to sleep quite yet. A light breeze picked up, ruffling light pink hair, and then silver hair. Both now had too much on their minds to sleep.

Lightning turned back towards her silver haired companion. Hope was young, maybe too young for this, but he’d proved himself so far. She couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pride swell in her chest. Only a teenager, and he’d lost his mother, and his whole way of life because of the Sanctum – and yet here he was, an individual who was slowing becoming a very competent fighter and magic user. Whilst it wasn’t her business, there was one question she needed an answer to, in case it had any impact on the mission. She’d had her suspicious; the line between love and hate was thin, more so in a situation like this, and she’d observed Hope staring on a number of occasions; in a not so subtle fashion for that matter. Whilst his tongue didn’t hang out, it was there for anyone who looked hard enough.

She snorted to herself.

There wasn’t a mission, just her own desires for revenge against those who’d wronged her and her sister. She wasn’t out to destroy the world, as most of her travelling companions probably thought, but she would bring the Sanctum down, and all those associated with it. For that, she needed help; and at the moment that help happened to be a teenage boy on the brink of collapse.

“Hope”

He shifted, raised himself into a sitting position, and looked across at her.

“Yeah, Light?”

“Your dream” Her voice was steady “Was it about.... _him_?”

Hope lowered his gaze. It was no shock that she’d worked it out.

“Yes” His voice was small, and barely audible, but she heard the answer none the less.

“Okay” She nodded, appeared unscathed by the revelation that her companion had recently had a sexual dream about her sisters fiancé “Stay focused Hope, don’t let it affect you. Get some rest; we’ll move out in a few hours”

“Okay” He nodded his head, and smiled; he wondered if anything could actually shock this woman. He wished he could be more like her “Thank you Light”

She smiled at him, and nodded.

 

XXXXXX

 

Hope couldn’t believe his truly awful luck. Things just seemed to be getting worse for him as time went on.

Lightning and he had made their way into Palumpolum with some trouble, but nothing the stoic, pink haired woman couldn’t handle. Hope thought he got in the way for the most part, but she offered nothing but encouragement where he was concerned.

Aside from that one time before they encountered Odin. She’d wanted him to leave, but the ensuing battle had resulted in them staying together – maybe the bond of overcoming an Eidolon together.

They had encountered the Eidolon shortly after their vaguely embarrassing break. The fight had been tough, very tough, but they now progressed faster than ever with the Eidolon on their side. Fighting their way into the Palumpolum outskirts; then further into the city via the agricultural sectors.

Now, Hope found himself without Lightning for company, the woman he felt closest too, aside from Vanille. Instead, he found himself travelling, and fighting alongside, the very individual he had come to despise.

The hero

The arrogant fool.

The fucking bastard that had let his mother Nora die.

The man who plagued his dreams with declarations of love, pleasurable hands, and lips so soft.

Snow Villiers.

As they wandered through the backstreets, making their way towards Hopes father, he couldn’t help but think the man hadn’t changed in the slightest. Snow was still insufferable, still cocky, and still incapable of taking anything seriously.

He was also still damn attractive.

This presented Hope with a certain problem, that being that fighting at his side was very difficult. On the one hand, he wanted to let the man die; on the other, he wanted to stand and watch him. Watch the way his muscles rippled as he moved, watch the sweat drip from his face. Stare at his large, muscular looking arse whenever his unnecessarily large coat flapped up. The whole thing left him feeling flustered, and annoyed beyond all reason.

 

XXXXXX

 

Hope was trailing behind Snow, feeling close to tears. The town’s people had been so.....vicious. He’d only tried to help a little girl get up; the ensuing hatred and jibes had been a shock to him.

He didn’t choose to become L’Cie, he’d had no choice in it. However much he hated the way people were now treating him, he understood it. How many times had he personally said to his companions that they now were, as L’Cie, dangerous? And a threat to all that they once held dear? How often had he said that they all deserved death for what had been done?

He couldn’t remember; nor could he tell if those were his true feelings, or just dogma being regurgitated as a means of self defence.

Hope looked up, watched the blond man walk ahead of him. A tear slid down his cheek, swiftly followed by another. At this moment, he wanted nothing more than to crawl into Snows strong embrace, and stay there, hidden away from the world.

Hope wanted to feel the warmth of his body again, feel how firm those muscles were, and how right it felt to be held against the man. Secretly, he loved it when Snow swooped in behind him, picked him up, and carried him to safety.

 Another part of him, the part of him he wanted no one else to know about, wanted nothing more than for Snow to push him against the nearest wall, and fuck him until his legs gave out from the pleasure of it, and he lost consciousness from the force of his orgasm.

Hope felt a swelling in his trousers; thoughts like that had a way of affecting him on a physical level. He shook his head, and let out a bitter chuckle. Of all the people to desire, it had to be the one he wanted to kill. Dumb luck.

“Hey kid. Everything alright back there?”

Snow had stopped, turned around to face Hope. There as a look of concern on his face; something that infuriated Hope as much as it made his heart swell.

Hope swiped a gloved hand across his face, wiping away the few stray tears that had fallen. He couldn’t stand the thought of Snow seeing him like that.

“Yeah. I’m fine” Hope called “Just tired”

“Well, let’s take a break then” Snow laughed, that good natured laugh of his, and shot Hope a smile “As long as you need kid”

Hope nodded in gratitude, and collapsed. Sitting on a roof wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it did the trick. He tilted his head to the side when Snow sat down next to him, letting out a loud sigh.

They sat in silence, just looking over Palumpolum.

Hope cast furtive glances at Snow, examining him. Seeing him sitting like that, completely at ease, his blond hair slightly ruffled by the breeze, dopey smile plastered on his face, Hope came to realise something. Something that shocked him to the core.

He was in love with Snow.

A faint blush coloured his cheeks when Snow turned, and caught him looking. Though the dazzling smile did nothing to help matters.

“See something you like kid?” There was an almost cocky, coy, lilt to his voice as he said this, and his eyes seemed to sparkle with some inner fire.

In a rare moment of courage, Hope didn’t turn away, instead looking into those dazzling, blue orbs. A faint smile graced his face, as he looked at Snow.

“Yeah, I do”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are welcome :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So then, here is the third chapter. Done a little bit of editing as well, so it's a tad better than the original I happen to think. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the latest installment, I'm currently working on the next chapter as well, so let's cross our fingers that I may be able to get it done and uploaded soon.  
> Anyway, onwards we go people, enjoy :)

_“See something you like kid?” There was an almost cocky, coy, lilt to his voice as he said this, and his eyes seemed to sparkle with some inner fire._

_In a rare moment of courage, Hope didn’t turn away, instead looking into those dazzling, blue orbs. A faint smile graced his face, as he looked at Snow._

_“Yeah, I do”_

“Is that so?” Snow quirked an eyebrow up at Hope, a teasing note in his voice “Fancy telling me what you like?”

Hope stared at the blond haired hunk of a man, his cheeks growing redder by the minute. Was he really going to go through with this? He’d been intent on killing the man for some time, but now....now there were other things he wanted to do to Snow.

Settling into the man’s lap and riding him into oblivion featuring highly in the list of things Hope now wanted to do, though thoughts like that really were not ideal to be having at that moment. The young silver haired male had a certain suspicion that his shorts would not be able to hide his fast growing erection. Why did Snow have to be so damn attractive, and so close? Sitting next to the man, basking in his presence and scent......Hope could just stretch his hand out, caress that handsome visage; kiss those plump, silky soft looking lips, and fall into the deep blue depths that were Snow Villiers eyes. But, that was just a thought, a little dream.

Their lives were close to forfeit, seemingly unimportant and despised. The curse of their affliction. Would telling Snow matter? Would it even make a difference? Hope didn’t know, but he felt he couldn’t back out now.

“Well....I” Hope gulped, a lump suddenly forming in his throat “I like you”

A wide smile broke out across Snow’s face; his blue eyes sparkled like the sea when hit by the midday sun, and he began to laugh. It was such a warming, carefree sound; something Hope hadn’t had the pleasure of hearing since this whole mess had started. Constantly running, constantly fighting to stay alive, it took its toll on the body and spirit.

Hope blinked in surprise unsure of how to respond, more so when Snow looped one of his large, muscular arms around his shoulders, and pulled him against his side.

“I like you too Hope” He laughed again, the vibrations sending pleasurable shivers through Hope’s body “I kinda thought you didn’t like me though”

Snow’s voice dipped towards the end, as if the mere thought of Hope disliking him caused him no end of pain. The suggestion caused a strange flutter in Hope’s chest, as if pleasing this man were the most important thing in existence.

“I didn’t...too start with” Hope leant to the side, resting his head slightly against the broad chest, trying to sap up as much of the heat and comfort that Snow’s body gave off as possible “I guess you grew on me after a while. And now, well, now I really do like you. A lot actually”

“Thanks Kid, I always knew we’d get along in the end” Snow tightened his grip slightly, holding the younger male against himself even more “There’s no one else I’d have at my side at the moment. I mean, look at you, only a teenager and you can fuck up every monster or human that comes across you. You’re pretty awesome man”

Hope flushed a deep shade of red at the compliment; it wasn’t exactly what he was looking for, but it was meaningful none the less. Any shred of acceptance or affection on this man’s part seemed to be enough to lift Hope’s heart, and make him feel oddly happy.

“I...I mean....Thanks Snow” Hope felt flustered beyond belief; no one had ever said something like that to him. He shuffled to the side again, trying to get closer to Snow without it seeming like he wanted to cuddle up to the man.

Snow chuckled again, the feeling vibrating throughout Hope’s body. The feeling was strangely arousing, as evident by the slowly developing bulge in his trousers; an issue Hope had thought had vanished a little while ago, apparently though, his body had other things in mind for him entirely.

“No sweat Kid, just speaking the truth” Snow looked down at the mass of silver hair with a sly smirk on his face “I’m not the only one who’s noticed”

Hope looked up, and raised a silver eyebrow at the blond man above him.

“What do you mean?” the young male’s voice was laced with confusion.

Snow raised a brow in turn, and continued smirking down at the younger male tucked up against his side.

“You really haven’t noticed?” he chuckled when Hope shook his head “Fuck Kid, you can fight, but there’s a lot to teach you about women. Vanille. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She’s got a bit of a thing for you Hope. She’s a bit mad, sure, but very easy on the eyes.....” He trailed off, the suggestion clear in his tone.

Hope blushed slightly at the suggestion, and tried his best to hide his face under Snow’s voluminous coat.

“She’s nice, but I...” Hope trailed off, and groaned quietly to himself; this wasn’t going how he’d wanted “She isn’t really my type, okay?”

Snow nodded his head, before tightening his grip yet again. It wasn’t painful in the slightest, just a little strange in Hope’s mind. There he was, sitting on a roof, essentially being hugged by the man he found exceptionally attractive. Not that he really objected to it at all; he had never felt quite so safe before, as he did now, tucked up against the side of the muscular blond.

“Okay. So not young and kooky” Snow paused, as if considering his options “What about older and brooding? Lightning will eat you for breakfast kid; I wouldn’t go there if I were you”

A shiver ran through Hope’s body at the mere thought of it. Yes, Lightning was a good looking woman, but she had become more like an older sister than anything else. Anyway, she was a little too scary for Hope’s taste. And didn’t have a penis; though that point could be debated by anyone who came across her. Hope had once overheard Sazh muttering to himself about Lightning; more precisely his suspicion that she castrated any of the men who had slept with her, or made the mistake of trying. The term ‘ball buster’ had been mentioned more than once.

“Um...no, not Light. Snow....I uh...” Hope trailed off, unsure how to continue, and beginning to feel a little annoyed with himself. Snow was completely devoted to Serah, why would he be interested in a scrawny teenager?

Admittedly, a good portion of the annoyance did come from the fact that he’d never been good at admitting his particular leanings to people. Yes, same sex attraction was widely accepted, but Hope had never entirely come to terms with it, which made talking about it even worse. When faced with the object of his desires, the whole thing just seemed to become even worse. The young silver haired male would have preferred to face down a PSICOM squadron than talk about it. But, he had opened this topic, and fuck it, he was going to finish it.

Snow squeezed Hope ever so slightly, acutely aware of the younger males sudden mood change and reticence. He only hoped the younger individual would feel comfortable talking about whatever it was that seemed to cause his body to tense up so noticeably.

“Hey, come on kid” Snow rubbed his arm a few times, in an attempt at comfort “You can tell me anything, I’m not going to judge you”

Hope ducked his head lower, trying to hide his burning face beneath his silver locks. He wished vehemently that this conversation had never started; but he also couldn’t go on having this attraction roiling away in his heart and mind. Actually telling people had always terrified him, left him breathless and quivering. Maybe, just maybe, Snow would be the one to at last break down that part of him. Hope groaned slightly to himself, and looked up at Snow, trying his hardest to not get drawn in by the near hypnotic colour of his eyes.

“Thing is...I prefer” Hope’s voice lowered slightly, before he concluded his sentence “I prefer guys”

Almost immediately, Snow started to laugh. Strangely enough, there didn’t seem to be a trace of hostility or disgust in the sound. When he stopped, he squeezed Hope again.

“So what? Nothing to be embarrassed about” Snow lent to the side far enough to be able to look into Hope’s dazzlingly silver eyes. He’d never noticed how they much they seemed to shine until that moment “Tell you what, when all of this bullshit is done, I’ll help you get a guy, and the two of you can come out with Serah and me. That sound like a plan?”

Snow gave the younger male a smile of encouragement, hoping to lift his mood. He would never judge someone for something so trivial.

Hope gave the older male a slight smile, before he untangled himself from the warm and strong embrace, and got to his feet. He faced away from Snow slightly, and looked out over Palumpolum. As discretely as possible, Hope wiped a stray tear from the corner of his eye. Lightning had told him not to let it affect him, and he had every intention of doing exactly that. His conversation with Snow had proved that it was the necessary course of action. The man had no interest in him, at least, not anything beyond friendship. It was nice, and gave Hope a slight feeling of warmth, but it wasn’t really what he wanted. He’d come to accept that much about his ‘feelings’; he always seemed to fall for those that he wouldn’t have a chance with.

He took a breath, and tried his best to calm his suddenly beating heart. He stood still for a few minutes, the slight breeze rustling through his silver hair, sending little strands out in disarray, before he spoke again.

“Thanks Snow, sounds good” Hope turned, and continued slowly in the direction they had been heading. Towards his father’s apartment “Come on, we should get going”

Snow sighed quietly, got up, and followed the silver haired youth. He had the strangest feeling that he’d missed something very important, or said something he really shouldn’t have. Snow shook his head, and tried his best to put it out of his mind.

He felt he’d come a long way with The Kid, he just hoped he could keep the friendly atmosphere going. He honestly did like the little guy, he just couldn’t figure out how to respond to the silver haired male at times....

_XXXXXX_

The pair continued along the rooftops, dispatching what foes they encountered. The friendly atmosphere that had developed had since dissipated. Snow continued to make joke after joke, but he could get no response out of the silver haired youth. Hope had returned to his original, stand-offish self, answering everything with a quiet glare or a monosyllabic reply.

He just couldn’t understand what he’d done to upset Hope.

The simple prospect of the young man disliking him sent Snow’s heart into an uncomfortable flutter. In their short time together, Snow had come to appreciate his company, and had started to think of him as a comrade in arms, hell, even as a friend.

Hope Estheim was a hell of a fighter. A recently acquired talent, Snow suspected. He was shockingly intelligent, and very perceptive. His life had been completely turned upside down, yet he’d shown a remarkable ability to deal with recent events, and thrive in the situation he found himself. Yes, he may have been a little shaky at the very start, but the young guy had adapted very quickly, and developed into a force to be reckoned with.

There was a warm side to Hope, that he had had the pleasure of seeing not so long ago, with their impromptu heart to heart. How he balanced strength and insecurity so perfectly amazed Snow. He had been thrust into a situation where he had been forced to grow faster than he should, developing a certain maturity and certainty that most Hope’s age would not possess. Sometimes, the scared teenager would break through the surprisingly Lightning like facade he put up; yet it was those moments Snow enjoyed the most. Gone was the moody, sullen, silent task driven force encased in a small body with silver hair, allowing the young man hidden beneath to shine through, if for a moment.

Snow would have loved to see more of that side to Hope, but breaking through that shell seemed to be a near impossible task at times.

Snow’s mind had begun to wander though, to things he wouldn’t normally even consider relevant; he’d begun noticing things he wouldn’t normally either, and it all related to Hope Estheim. He couldn’t help but notice how damnably cute and handsome Hope was. How his silver hair seemed to shimmer in the sun, how his pale eyes seemed to gleam with an inner fire. And the way he filled out those shorts, oh, how Snow wondered what it would be like to strip the younger male of his clothing.........

This thought stopped Snow in his tracks, physically and mentally.

Was he attracted to Hope?

Snow had Serah, but she was encased in crystal; even stranger for the slightly older male, was the fact that being attracted to another male didn’t scare him in the slightest.

In fact, part of the idea excited him. It should have been strange, but it didn’t seem all that strange at all. He’d been through a fair amount lately, all of it odd; his soon to be wife had been turned into a mass of crystal, he’d earned the allegiance of two icy female spirits, and he found himself amongst a group of people on the run from the authorities they had once held as a necessity.

Being attracted to a male was different, very different for the blond man. But, the individual in question was just so.....appealing and handsome; feisty, yet incredibly soft and vulnerably at times. The thought put a small smile on his face; a smile that grew even larger as he watched Hope walk in front of him. Damn, did that boy have one hell of an arse.

_XXXXXX_

However much it had pained him to do so, Hope had taken Lightning’s advice, and done his best to distance himself from Snow. He hated doing it, he really did, but there was no point in pursuing someone who had no interest in the same sex, it was a course of action that would do nothing but cause them both pain. As much as Hope wanted to crawl into Snow’s arms, and rest his head on that broad, muscular chest, he knew he couldn’t. It was a simple dream, the product of an overactive imagination, and adolescent hormones.

What was the point of pursuing a pointless goal, let alone someone who was already committed to another; the fact that said individual was currently a mass of crystal didn’t seem to have much of an impact on the man.

It was a situation that made Hope view Snow as a complete idiot, yet, a romantic and caring idiot. He shook his head slightly, as a brief smile flashed across his face. Even when he didn’t want it, that insufferable individual somehow made him smile, even though most would think him a fool.

If only, Hope thought, someone would come to care for him that way.......

_XXXXXX_

As logic would dictate, the steady and almost peaceful pace they had achieved over the roofs of Palumpolum would not last long, it was a simple given. What neither male anticipated, was the speed and the degree in which it changed. One moment, they were walking peacefully, if in a tense silence; yet within a matter of moments, things took a distinctly drastic change.

The sky darkened momentarily as a huge shadow blotted out the sun, casting its dark presence over the two males. Before they could react, the mechanical object that dominated the sky opened fire with all batteries. An explosion shook the roof, sending Snow and Hope over the edge, spinning headlong towards the streets below; a distance that would certainly cause both their deaths. The force of the explosion knocked Hope out, leaving his body limp as it fell through the air.

Snow reached out for Hope, and pulled his limp body into a protective embrace. The only thought going through the blond man’s mind, as he fell through the air, was that he had to protect Hope; protect the younger male at all costs. His life seemed to dwindle into nothingness by comparison.

Snow pressed his face into Hope’s neck, and inhaled slightly. There was something strangely appealing about his scent, and something very satisfying about feeling his slightly cool skin come into contact with his own. The embrace would have been intimate in any other circumstance. He whispered a few words into the younger male’s ear, words he felt with all his heart and soul; it would have been comforting if he were conscious.

“I’ve got you Hope, I’ve got you; I will never let you go”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews would be appreciated, even if just a few words.  
> Till next time :)

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are welcome, be they good or bad.  
> I do have two other written chapters; I'll upload them in a few days, hopefully there'll be a bit of a response by then :)


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